Two RPs in a can - 6-8 and - 6-15

So as I have made clear, I have a (highly time-intensive) committment to another site that will render me not around at all from June 1-June 24. So here are two RPs to use whenever you like while I am gone, and I will pick up where I return. See my other thread for the first RP (this week's main show), which you should use first.


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Success
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What is success?

The camera has faded to black and remains that way for about 4 seconds, seemingly letting the audience ponder the question.

It's true that on some level, success is just setting goal A, and then achieving it. But I'm not talking about what the dictionary has to say about success, that is a reductive way to analyze it. I'm talking about success in life.

The blackness resolves to show Erudio seated in a room with a television in the back, running clips of seemingly random EUW stars.


Everyone in the world seems to operate under the assumption that if they just work hard, get that one raise, buy that one car, trust that one God, meet that one person, or win that one wrestling title, that they are a 'successful' person. They try to raise their kids well, so that their children may also be 'successful'. But they are still thinking in the small, meaningless way. Whatever they do, there is someone who has done it better. You, the ordinary fool sitting and watching pro wrestling, will never have the body of a great athlete, the money of a great businessman. And those great athletes and great businessmen still continue chasing the title of 'great...est'. So what, then? Is success something that can only be grasped by a number of people that can be counted on one hand?

Maybe happiness is success. Maybe all you need is to be content with your lot in life, right? Wrong. Imagining yourself successful by eliminating the driving force to do ANYTHING is worse than spinning your wheels trying to do everything. It makes you a deluded fool, not a success.

For those who have not understood yet, I speak from the perspective of a truly...TRULY!...successful man. How did I get here? How do I define success? Well, if I told you, then you wouldn't really learn anything, would you? I only ask that you come to grips with the fact that I am a success, and you...are not only a failure, but hopelessly lost in such a deep failure that you have only one hope to get out. Me. And if you accept all of that, there is still no easy answer for you. A lecture will not solve your problems...you can only learn by watching a successful man in action, and learning by imitation.

I'll be more than willing to demonstrate for you. Over, and over, and over again. For I am your only true teacher, Erudio.

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The Despotism of the Wrestling Fan
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The powerful sounds of "Hand of Sorrow" blast from the loudspeaker as Erudio enters at the top of the ramp.


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Erudio holds a microphone and pauses, looking out somewhat sadly at the wrestling fans assembled. The music stops and he takes a deep breath.


Erudio: It makes me sick to see it. It has been said by wise men that the most depraved men are those most incapable of seeing depravity in themselves. I assume this applies to all of the greatest despots in world history. But nowhere is the incredible depravity and hypocrisy more apparent than here tonight. Because, you see...truly the worst despots in history are seated right here in this arena.

Confused? I anticipated that. My lessons clearly have had no effect on your thick skulls, but I am a patient and noble teacher, so I will attempt to clear the fog around your mind's eye. You see, by definition a tyrant is someone who will enforce their will upon others based solely on what the tyrant wants. Enter the professional wrestling concept of "face" and "heel". You see, every one of you sitting here tonight has made superficial judgements of which wrestlers here are 'good', which ones are worthy of your affection. And the sickening part? Once you know who is 'good', you sit there in your $12 seats and you wish with all your heart for anyone who you have not judged 'good' to fail...you wish for them to suffer pain...and you even wish to see them fired, chop off their livelihood! If you were given any power, you would enforce these foolish wishes of your heart to the letter, destroying and harming any that you disagree with in any way.

I hope you now understand the despotism that any besides yourself can clearly see in you. But there is hope. If you are able to accept that you are a fool and a tyrant, such banal weakness can be purged and you can learn how to see the world in a fair and intelligent way. All you have to do...is follow the lead of your one true teacher...Erudio!

Erudio drops the mic and raises his arms, but the crowd only boos. Erudio smiles sadly and shakes his head before turning his back and walking away.

are you like some kind of philosophist because this is brilliant

Lol, thanks! I have no knowledge of philosophy whatsoever but I always wanted to RP as someone who did, so I am.

I really enjoyed these, great job Erudio!